I just can't get past this terrible depression about the possibility I'm losing the baby. It's been my everything and my driving force to go on and my little ray of hope about my future and I'm losing it...
I hate that there is nothing I can do to stop it. It's been a week of bleeding and no signs of change. I just hate this, I want to stop crying. I want to believe all the positive people but I dont feel positive in my heart.
Miles said if I lose it we will try again but not anytime soon. I hate that I am selfish and don't want to wait, if I lose it I want to try again right away. But I want this one. I want this baby. If I have to try again, I am going to not go to the doctor until 12 weeks, I don't even want to tell anyone. I don't want to jynx it. My heart is just breaking.
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